


Nightly Visits

by Sammylostshoe



Category: Amazingphil & Danisnotonfire RPF, Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 09:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammylostshoe/pseuds/Sammylostshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the middle of the night when Dan woke up hearing someone opening his door.<br/>“Phil?” Dan asked confused. “What are you doing here?”<br/>Phil just stood there looking at him with sad eyes.<br/>“Phil, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked, but Phil still didn’t answer. Dan was just about to get up and walk over to his friend when Phil suddenly started walking towards Dan’s bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightly Visits

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.  
> I don't own Dan, Phil or PJ. I don't know them irl. I don't believe that "phan is real". (And if it was it's none of my business.) I just like the idea of the "characters" interacting. As far as I know, nothing in this fanfiction happened. If Dan, Phil or PJ read this: I apologize if I didn't describe you accurately, I hope I didn't offend you with it. Also, you're awesome!  
> (PS: Dan and Phil are not the same person, they have individual lifes. I know that, because Dan said it about 56832186 times in his liveshows ;) )

It was the middle of the night when Dan woke up hearing someone opening his door. Without moving he glanced through a tiny gap of his right eye, looking at who- or whatever would come through the door. He didn’t even have time thinking of horror stories, burglars or slenderman though, he recognized his friend immediately.

“Phil?” Dan asked confused. “What are you doing here?”

Dan noticed the shining, green letters on the clock that was on the small table next to his bed. 2:30AM. Definitely not a time Phil usually was awake at. Phil just stood there looking at him with sad eyes. Dan was getting nervous. There were no more than two situations Dan had seen Phil having sad eyes; 1. for YouTube videos or 2. as a joke.

But Dan did not expect Phil to joke around at 2:30AM and he couldn’t see a camera either.

“Phil, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked, but Phil still didn’t answer. Dan was just about to get up and walk over to his friend when Phil suddenly started walking towards Dan’s bed. He laid down next to him and turned around, his back to Dan and stopped moving again. Dan, completely confused, decided he’d ask Phil the next morning and went back to sleep. It was still the middle of the night, after all.

 ***

When Dan woke up the next time he was alone. He wasn’t even sure if what he remembered had actually happened. The blankets were crumpled as usual, the door was closed, everything was normal.

He went to the kitchen to find Phil making pancakes; delicious looking and smelling pancakes.

“Good morning!” Phil shouted with a happy smile and Dan stared. Did he really dream everything?

“Good morning to you, too.”

Should he just ask? But how? ‘Hey Phil. Did you sleep with me last night or did I imagine you crawling in my bed?’ didn’t really sound exactly suitable. Instead Dan simply asked “How did you sleep?” as innocent as possible.

“Awesome” Phil answered, avoiding Dan’s eyes.

Dan sighed. He really didn’t want to ask so directly, but apparently he had to.

“Phil, please tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Phil’s smile faded and he was suddenly very concentrated on the difficult task on watching pancakes.

Dan snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, Phil. I mean what happened last night. It’s fine, really. But…”

“Well, if it’s fine, can’t you just ignore it?”

“You’re my best friend, Phil. Whatever it is, I promise, not to laugh, hate you or run away! You can trust me, dammit!”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then trust me when I say nothing happened.”

Phil dropped the wooden spoon he had used for turning over the dough and left the kitchen. Dan sat at the table, watching the pancakes as they slowly started to overcook, but he couldn’t care less. He heard the sound of the apartment door closing and thought about running after Phil, but when in that moment the pancakes started to get black, causing a dark smoke, Dan thought that maybe stopping them from burning the house wasn’t that much of a bad idea after all.

 ***

That night Dan had trouble falling asleep. His thoughts were with Phil, who was in the next room, pretending Dan didn’t exist.

After saving the house Dan had thrown away the black mess that would have been pancakes, cleaned up the kitchen and even went out to buy a new pan. The old one was definitely helplessly broken. Then he had called Phil the first time. As expected though, Phil hadn’t answered. Dan had tried calling him three more times until his stomach had started growling with a dangerously deep noise and forced Dan to have some – even for him late – breakfast.

Later he had tried to call Phil again, but he only reached the mailbox. He had also asked PJ and Chris in case if they knew anything, had almost called Phil’s mother, but had decided otherwise.

He then had tried to focus on some work, a new video he was planning, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything, so he had played the newest Final Fantasy only taking a break for food, loo and calling Phil then and now. Mailbox each time. He had left a message one time.

At nine he had went to bed, even unable to focus on playing games.

At around ten Phil had come home. On Dan’s questions about where he had been his answer was a tired look and more ignoring.

Dan still tried to figure out what had happened. Later that night when he was just about to fall asleep his door opened and Phil entered the room. Again. Dan stared at him in disbelief.

“Phil, what the fuck is going on?” he asked, but didn’t get an answer. Phil slipped under the blanket and curled up against Dan, using his arm as a pillow. Dan couldn’t sleep for hours. Sometime between 5 and 6 his mind finally shut off and sent him to dream land.

The next morning his bed was empty. Phil was gone, had left the apartment.

Later that day when Phil got back Dan knocked against his door.

“Phil, please talk to me. Whatever it is, we can figure something out. Just please don’t ignore me.”

But he did.

This night, Phil came in at about half past two. Dan had waited for him and jumped out of his bed, stopping Phil. “Whatever is going on, Phil. Tell me. Just tell me. You’re scaring the shit out of me and I’m sick of being worried all the time.”

Phil just turned around and left, heading towards his own room. Now really angry, Dan took a pillow and two blankets, making a lousy version of a bed and lying in front of Phil’s room. If Phil would leave, he’d wake him up.

And really, when Phil tried to leave his room in the morning without looking down, he stepped on Dan’s hand. He almost fell, but could get hold of the door frame.

“Dan?” he screamed. What the… what are you doing? Are you SPYING on me?” Phil looked at him with so much disgust that it was impossible for Dan to answer. His eyes followed Phil’s move, speechless, unable to do anything but watching as his friend packed a small bag with a few items and then left again.

Phil didn’t come back for three days. Three days in which Dan tried to call him, sent him several text messages, asked PJ and Chris again, even tried to check the places he knew Phil liked.

When Phil got back on the third day, a Friday, it was about dinner time and Dan sat on the couch, staring into space. He jumped when he heard the key opening the lock and got up as quickly as he could without falling over his own feet.

 

Phil came into the room and Dan just hugged him. It’s funny how time can change things. The one moment he was angry and worried, the other moment he was just glad that he got his friend back.

He pressed Phil against himself, holding him with strong arms and breathing calmly. First, Phil had tensed up under his touch, but he relaxed a bit when Dan started drawing in small circles around his back.

“Would you – would you like to tell me where you’ve stayed?” Dan tried asking carefully.

Phil answered in a quiet voice, fast, as if he wanted it to be over. “I was at PJ’s. Please don’t be mad at him for not telling you. I made him promise. He hates lying to you. He’ll call any moment, to apologize. I told him to wait until I got here.”

Dan didn’t move. That was the most words out of Phil’s mouth in days. It was so damn good to hear his friend’s voice again. He didn’t even have time to react in any way, when his phone rang.

Dan let him go and Phil murmured: “I’m gonna sleep now.” Before Dan answered the phone he held Phil back. “Is it gonna happen again?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Phil whispered, not looking, and walked away. Dan finally stopped the annoying ringing.

“Dan? Dan, it’s PJ. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t want to – but he – I had to promise – I’m sorry!”

“PJ. PJ! It’s fine. Really. He’s back now.”

“He was worried you’d come to talk to him. He wasn’t ready to talk yet.”

“It’s all fine, PJ. But... Can you – are you allowed to tell me what happened?”

Dan lowered his voice for the last part.

“I’m not sure,” PJ answered. “I mean, he didn’t tell me to keep it secret, but it’s really not up to me to… I think he should… himself.”

Dan sighed. “Is there … anything? Anything at all? Even if it’s just a bit?”

PJ cleared his throat. “Well, he has something like nightmares, I guess. And he is kinda sleepwalking. But… really, I don’t think I should be the one telling you.”

“Is he… is it something bad?”

“That depends on your definition of ‘bad’. But he’s not dying, if that’s what you think.”

“Okay.” Dan was relieved. “He’s fine then?”

“It’s hard to… yeah. He’s fine.”

Dan closed his eyes. “Thank you; for taking care of him.”

“Yeah. Sure thing, man. Just give him some time, alright? Sooner or later he’ll tell you. He promised he would. He will.”

 

After hanging up he went to Phil's room and knocked.

"What?"

"C-can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I'd just... like to... Phil, please."

"Fine. But I don't want to talk."

Dan opened the door and found Phil sitting, legs crossed, on his bed.

"What do you want?" He asked.

Dan sat down next to him and looked at him, expecting some sort of reaction.

Although he had pretty much gotten used to Phil's cold side by now it still hurt when Phil didn't even recognize his existence.

"Look," Dan said. "I see that something's wrong. And you made it clear that you don't want to talk about it. Just know, that... God, that sounds so cheesy. I'm here, alright? I'm here and I'll listen if you're ready to talk. And until then I'll just... wait. Okay?"

He could see Phil nodding, even if it was only a little bit.

"But if it happens again, whatever it is, don't run away from me. Please? It's okay. It really is. You don't have to be scared of me."

Phil laughed. It was no happy Phil-laugh.

"You don't understand."

"We'll you don't explain it! How am I supposed to... No. I see what you're trying to do. But you're not gonna make me be mad at you. Give up. I'm leaving now. I'm going to sleep. You know where to find me."

He got up and left, trying to hide the frustration and anger that were building up inside him.

He went to bed and fell asleep after only a few minutes. This night nothing woke him up. The next morning he was almost a bit disappointed.

 

After breakfast he decided to play some Zelda. He couldn’t start filming his new video, because he needed Phil’s help for most of the shots and Phil was still in his room. When he finished the level and (and the three levels after that) Phil stuck his head through the door.

“You got a minute?” he asked and looked nervously everywhere but to Dan.

“F’course,” Dan answered and paused the game.

Phil signaled Dan to follow him. They went to Phil's room and Dan followed his invitation to take a seat on his bed. 

Phil sat down next to him, with an unusual distance, Dan noticed.

“Did, uh, did PJ tell you?” Phil started fiddling with his hands.

“Well, I don’t know, he said something about nightmares and sleepwalking.”

Phil looked relieved. “Well, close enough, I guess.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

Dan shook his head. He really tried to be a friend here. Why did Phil act like he’d be some evil asshole who’d try to damage him? He was Phil’s best friend, for fuck’s sake!

“Alright, Phil. Did you just come over to tell me what a bad person I am or did you actually want to talk?”

When he saw Phil’s shocked eyes, regret started spreading through his body.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m just… you’re so confusing. And I don’t understand.”

Phil was quiet. He just stared at Dan but didn’t seem to see him, deep in thoughts. Dan was just about to give up and walk away, when Phil’s voice stopped him.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay. Ask. I’ll answer. I can’t tell you, I just can’t, but I will answer what I can. So ask.”

Well, that didn’t exactly help the confusion in Dan’s head.

“Oh, okay. What about… What kind of nightmares do you have? Why are you “kinda” sleepwalking? Why are you… why are you landing in my bed? And leaving, before I wake up? Why are you telling PJ everything but running away from me? Why-umpf!”

Phil stopped him from continuing by holding his hand over Dan’s mouth.

“I know you can talk that fast, but I can’t. Now let me think. One question after another.”

“Okay. What about the nightmares?”

“Next.”

“But you-“

“Next!”

“Alright” Dan was already a bit annoyed again, but he wanted – needed – answers, and if he would only get them by playing after Phil’s rules he bloody hell would.

“Why are you sleepwalking, then?”

Phil sighed. “It’s not really sleepwalking. At least, I think so. I’m awake, or well, maybe not. But I notice everything that happens. I just… I can’t control it. It’s like something else would make me go around and… and-“

“lay you next to me?” Dan cut in.

“Yeah. I don’t know why. I don’t understand it. I have no idea… I, I tried to fight it, Dan! When you asked me, in the first night. I wanted to answer, but I couldn’t.”

Phil pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them. Dan wanted to help, wanted to comfort him, but he didn’t know how, so he just thought about his next question.

“So you don’t know what makes you come to me. But why are you leaving? Why did you want to hide, to pretend it never happened? Why didn’t you just explain, when it’s that easy?”

“Because it’s not – that easy, alright? It’s not easy. Next.”

“Okay, then tell me that: Why did you trust PJ more than me?” Dan swallowed. It took him everything to not just slap Phil in the face. He wanted to know. Now. But when Phil went back to screaming he winced back.

“It’s got nothing to do with who I trust more, it’s just something I can’t tell _you_!”

“So you would tell everyone except for me?”

“No, of course not”

“Who else knows the *big secret*?”

“Nobody, only PJ”

“So it _is_ about trust.”

“No, it’s not, dammit!”

“Then tell me, Phil, what the fuck is it?”

“I love you, alright?”

Dan stared at him, eyes wide with surprise. “What?”

“You heard me. Now get out of my room and leave me alone.”

Dan got up like he was hypnotized. He went to the door, left Phil’s room and closed the door. He woke up out of the trance being in the living room, not quite sure how he got there.

Phil? In love with him? But… What? But that didn’t make any sense. Well okay, Dan knew Phil was bi. He also knew that Phil knew that Dan was bi. But even then, that wouldn’t explain the nightmares – oh wait. Phil had never said anything about nightmares, PJ did.

But his thoughts were interrupted by Phil who went straight to the apartment door. This time though Dan ran after him.

“So you’re just gonna run away again?”

Phil turned around. “I’m not running away.”

“Please, let’s talk about this.”

“I need some time, alright?”

“Don’t go. Phil, please, stay. We’ll figure something out. We – we can fix this!”

“Fix this?” Phil let out a bitter laugh. “There is nothing to fix, Dan. Just let me go.”

“Then at least tell me where you’re going!”

Phil opened the door.

“PJ, if he lets me stay for a bit; again.”

“Okay. I’ll call you. Tonight?”

“No. Just – don’t, please. Don’t call me. Don’t come there. I need alone. Please, Dan. If I mean anything to you, anything at all, leave me alone.”

He left the apartment and started going downstairs.

“Can I at least call PJ?” Dan called after him.

Phil didn’t answer.

 

Dan slowly turned around, away from the stairs, and closed the door. Then he suddenly ran to his room and searched for his mobile. He called PJ – obviously.

“Hello?” Dan heard his calm voice and some of the tension left his body immediately.

“Hey PJ, it’s Dan. Listen. Phil-“

“I won’t tell you, Dan. If he doesn’t want to-“

“No, he told me. That’s why I’m calling.”

“Oh. Uh, okay. So, how did it go?”

“Bad. PJ, he left again. He’s on his way to you.”

“What? Why?”

“He didn’t want to talk to me. He said something about needing time. Can you – could you take care of him, please?”

“Dan, he’s not a child anymore. He can take care of himself.”

“Oh yeah? Like fucking falling for me? Because that’s of course not the stupidest thing he could do, goddammit.”

“It’s not like you could control that stuff. You of all should know that.”

Dan swallowed. “You said you’d never mention that again. And that was long ago.”

“You said you’d never kiss me again. And not that long.”

“Oh, c’mon. I was drunk.”

“Dan, that’s not the point right now. But do you really think I’m the one he should talk about, well, you?”

“Please, Peej. You owe me one.”

“I don’t owe you shit!” PJ suddenly sounded really angry. Dan just waited. He knew him pretty well, after all.

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Okay is in: Okay, I’ll look after him. But I’m not your fucking shrink. Or spy. I’m not gonna hold his hand, not even for you. And if he asks I’ll tell him about this phone call. No secrets anymore. I’ll not even begin with that again. Got it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, got it. Thanks, Peej. You’re right. You don’t owe me. I owe you. And I won’t forget!”

“Get some rest, Dan. And try sleeping once in a while. You look horribly tired in your videos.”

PJ hang up before Dan could say another word.

 

Not really out of curiosity and more to distract him, he went online. It was a bad idea. A really bad idea.

His tumblr tag was full of pictures of him and Phil, even some phanfiction as in there. The YouTube comments to his last video about personal space weren’t any better. But is twitter was the worst.

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) When will you and Phil finally admit your undying love for each other?

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) Is Phan Real????!1!!!?

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) Did you read the chair fic?

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) PHAN 4EVA! <3

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) When did you meet Phil? :3

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) dare: kiss phil xD

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) OMG JUST READ THE HAT FIC! LOL

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) Do you and Phil really live together?

[@danisnotonfire](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire) Can you do a liveshow with Phil? Pleaaaaase? <3

He scrolled down; hoping to find something that didn’t mention Phil. Someone had sent him a link to a YouTube video. Expecting an either really loud and chaotic or very romantic song he clicked on the link. The video opened in a new tab and he wasn’t actually surprised when he noticed that it was a video about Phan. But at least with the romantic music part he was correct. It filled the room, supporting edited pictures and scenes flashing across the screen that were slowing down whenever they were both laughing or touching or looking at each other, so basically all the time. It took him about a minute to find enough strength to turn it off.

“FUCK,” he screamed and sent his computer to standby. He turned around and froze.

In front of the door was Phil, leaning against the frame, looking at him with sad eyes.

“Is the idea of you and me together that horrible?” he asked.

Dan shook his head. “What? No! No, Phil, no! I just wanted to distract mysel- what are you- why are you back?”

“You were right,” Phil said and pushed himself away from the door frame. “I was running away. I panicked. But then I noticed that I didn’t even give you a chance to say something and I came back. Meanwhile you were doing what exactly? Oh yeah, right. Screaming and swearing at a video about us. Maybe I should just leave again.”

While talking he had come closer to Dan, so he was now standing right in front of him.

“No. Stay, dammit.”

“Well then you explain to me something now. Why did you watch a damn video about our non-existent relationship, which basically sums up what I feel for you?!”

“It’s not like that!”

“Oh yeah? What were you doing then? Just casually going through YouTube and accidentally-“

“Shut up!” Dan answered angrily. “Someone linked me. It’s not my fucking fault that people create these videos. And stop blaming me for everything, because it’s not my fault that you… that you…” He couldn’t finish it.

Phil didn’t fight back. He was tired and exhausted and it really wasn’t his day; what a surprise.

“Look, I’m sorry that I reacted like… shit, I’m really sorry. It’s just… What would be a good way to react? Imagine if your best friend just… Fuck.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

“I love you, Phil. You know I do.”

“I know”

“But not in that way.”

“I know”

“I’m not in love with you.”

“I know”

They looked at each other and Dan smiled a bit. Phil cleared his throat.

“We’re worse than every fanfiction they could write”

Dan laughed. “We are, aren’t we? The next part now would be you suggesting moving out.”

“Yeah, it would” Phil looked nervous. “Do you, I mean, want me to move out?” “God, no! Life would be terribly boring without you. Except, uh, would you want to? Move out?”

“I’d rather stay, actually.”

“Good! Good.”

They looked awkwardly around until Dan couldn’t listen to the heavy silence anymore and he sat down next to Phil.

“Hey, we’re still friends and stuff, right?” he asked.

“Of course”

“Nothing has to change.”

“Of course not”

They both knew they were lying. Something would definitely change. But as long as they could pretend that everything was alright, they wouldn’t have to think about leaving. Dan leaned closer to Phil and hugged him. Phil wound his arms around Dan and pressed him closer.

“I still love you” he whispered in his ear.

“I know. I love you, too.”

“Yeah”

“Yeah.”

They held each other until they could feel their throats getting sore and their eyes seeing blurry, then they leaned back, disconnecting the exchange of body heat.

“Fancy an X-Men marathon maybe?” Dan asked as if the last week never happened.

“Sure. I’ll, uh, get the DVD’s. Could you get snacks and something to drink?”

“Sure,” Dan smiled.

They both got up and Dan couldn’t stop himself from asking again. “Nothing’s gonna change, right?”

“Nothing,” Phil confirmed. “Just maybe; could you keep it down with the whole *shipping material* for a while? You know, just for… a while?”

“F’course. Sure thing. Will do. Promise. Oh shit, we should probably call PJ. He’ll be waiting for you!”

“What? How did he even know I was – wait. Did you call him?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I was worried. I just wanted to make sure that you’ll be okay.”

“He called me, you know? Before I came back. I was actually wondering how he knew. I thought it was just his weird super-PJ-sense or something like that. He told me to go back. He told me not to ask but go back. And then he hung up. But I didn’t tell you because I got, uh, distracted.”

“Ah. Okay. Well then… We should thank him later. I’ll get the – the stuff. Okay” he grinned.

“Hey, Dan”

“Yeah?”

Phil smiled. “Thanks”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it :)  
> Review? *cookies*
> 
> my tumblr is: http://sammylostshoe.tumblr.com/


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